A Life Without Regrets

When people look back on their lives, they don’t, in general, regret what they have done. Instead, they regret what they haven’t done. Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, recorded the top five regrets of the dying. These were (Steiner, 2012):

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over […] it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

"They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship [and] spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. They settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

I make no apology for raising this sombre issue. I don’t want you to reach the end of your life – hopefully many, many years in the future – and look back and say, “I wish I had…”

10 minutes each day is where you start.

The 1000 Minutes Principle notes that every day you are awake for around 1000 minutes. This means that 10 minutes is 1% of your Waking Day.

Visualising your day in this new way is incredibly powerful. With the 1000 Minutes Principle and Learned Relentlessness you can roll together numerous ten minute blocks to achieve projects and dreams for which you thought there would never be the time.

Let’s be clear: the 1000 Minutes Principle is not about making you slightly more efficient in the workplace or slightly more likely to invite an old friend over for dinner. It is about changing your life. It is about re-evaluating your time and prioritising what matters most to you. It is about changing your direction and then looking back in years to come and having no regrets.

The thing about time is that it doesn’t hang about. Once you are in a routine – or perhaps even a rut – it can take years to climb out. We continue in our lives with dreams and aspirations, with things that we will one day achieve, and before we know it a decade has passed. Enough! The time to make that change is now.

A good place to start is with a 1% Plan.

The 1% Plan should be the first thing you do each day. Nothing should distract you from it and you will set yourself up for the day ahead. It should take you just 10 minutes to complete – 1% of your Waking Day. If you want to spend longer on it, then do. If it feels valuable, it’s valuable.

Start with writing about what is on your mind. It doesn’t matter how you do this: it could be sentences or bullet points or mind maps or pictures. Importantly, you must look forward. Do not dwell on the past and try to be positive.

At the end of your 1% Plan you will set yourself a 1% Priority Action. This is the one thing you will do that day without fail. It is best when your 1% Priority Action is specific. On some days it may be related to a specific project. On other days it may be to clear some life laundry: to make a particular telephone call or pay that bill or research something or buy someone a present.

Some days you may not achieve your 1% Priority Action. If not, write it down again for the following day. Be relentless.

You may wish to use my template for a 1% Plan. I will write more about this technique soon to explain how to get the best from it.

You might like to think of your dreams as tiny specks of life washing up and down over the rocks on a beach. They could wash up and down forever… but if they get a hold in a tiny crack then they can wedge themselves in. They can become anchored and then, before you know it, they can spread and grow and flourish. Soon a whole colony of life grows on the rocks. Other life flocks to it and a whole new ecosystem blooms.

That little crack in the rock is 10 minutes of each day – just 1% of your Waking Day each day that can change your life.

No regrets.

Introducing the 1000 Minutes Principle: How To Get 100% from Your Life, 10 Minutes at a Time

We all have dreams. Modern life is busy so where do we find the time to achieve them? Time itself is part of the problem because it is fiendishly difficult to measure. There are 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 52 weeks in a year… and all fitted into 12 months of 28, 29, 30 or 31 days. It’s a muddle!

It only gets more complex. Each day is made of crazy, oddly shaped chunks. There is the bit before getting to work, then the working day and then that tired evening that all too often vanishes in a puff of regret. What proportion of your day is represented by each of these timeslots? It’s far from obvious.

Here’s a thing: what if we could visualise our day more easily? What if it could be divided into more easily understandable chunks so that we could really get a grip on it? Being able to see time properly is the first step to conquering it. The good news is that this easily understandable measure already exists. It is a simple little block of 10 minutes.

Everyone’s day is different but most have certain similarities, like approximately how long we sleep. Let’s start by supposing that you wake up in the morning at 0630 and go to sleep at 2310. Looking at those times it’s not immediately obvious how much time you are actually awake during each day. Any quick calculations? Well, I can tell you that it is 16 hours and 40 minutes. There are no revelations there… until we count it in a slightly different way. This is exactly 1000 minutes.

Divide that by one hundred and you get 10 minutes. There are one hundred lots of 10 minutes in your Waking Day.

10 minutes is 1% of your day.

Perhaps your Waking Day is a little longer; perhaps it’s shorter: it doesn’t matter. What matters is an approximate visualisation. All of a sudden there is no longer any mystery to time. At a stroke, your day is decimal. This is incredibly powerful.

Suddenly you can visualise what proportion of each day you spend on valuable things… and on time wasters. The 1000 Minutes Principle helps you to use the time you have properly instead of feeling like time is using you. You can stop bad habits and think differently about the hours you spend working. Furthermore, each Waking Day can define your entire life.

A survey in 2014 found that UK adults spent almost four hours every day watching television. That is a mind-blowing 24% of the Waking Day. If you do that every day of your life, well, it’s a quarter of your entire Waking Life. Is that really a good use of your time? On your deathbed, will you look back on the many hours of television and reflect on how wonderful it was?

So what can you do instead?

The 1000 Minutes Principle can stop the bad stuff… and make good things happen too. We think that we can’t get much done in 10 minutes. That simply isn’t true. Sure, sometimes 10 minutes goes by in a rush… but it also offers a world of opportunities if it’s used regularly and in the right way.

Does 10 minutes feel like less than 1% of your Waking Day? Does an hour feel like more than 6%? Time is confusing like that. The thing is, you can always, ALWAYS find 10 minutes somewhere. This is your 1% Priority Action. You might be exhausted… but it’s only 10 minutes and you really can do it if you want. Over a period, those little segments of 10 minutes will flow together into one massive block of time. This is the secret of Learned Relentlessness, an approach that means returning to your task every single day, for just 10 minutes at a time, until it becomes a positive habit so ingrained that you can’t imagine doing without it.

Through these techniques, the 1000 Minutes Principle asks you to re-examine time, to re-examine your life and your goals, and to strike out on an exciting adventure of discovery, achievement and dream-fulfilment.

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